OpEd-Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and at Open Paddock
All the writers were dining on freshly caught Haddock
The stockings were hung on the mantle with twine
Cause all of the budget was spent on FCC fines
Shaun was snuggled all cozy in bed
As visions of Ken Block raced through his head
Then Doug with a T-Shirt and Mike with House Shoes
Passed Mike Shaw as we all went for a snooze
When out in the drive there arose such a noise
I instantly knew it had to be one of the boys
So I ran to the window to see what’s the mess
That sounds like when Grosjean activates DRS
The Moon wasn’t out but the street lights were on
And all I could see was an Alesi named Jean
Then what to my wondering eyes I should see
Was a fat dude in red with rides of varying degree
With a strange old driver so nimble but nosey
I thought for a sec it might be Max Moseley
But it wasn’t, it’s Santa, and I heard him yell out
The names of his rides cause he’s got lots of clout
“On Jaari, On Matti, on Hunter and Reay
On Checo, On Kimi, on Graham and Conway
To the top of the roof, but don’t land too hard
‘Cause our next stop is the Indy Brickyard”
I watched their approach and higher they go
Kinda like Conor Daly in GP3 Monaco
Then on the roof of the house where  they ended
The sleight just sat there as if it were suspended
Up on the roof I heard some complaining
Like Kimi at Pace in an event when it’s raining
Then down through the chimney Santa fell to the ground
But he got up quickly bouncing on the rebound
He was dressed up in Nomex but in no way a twig
There’s no confusing santa for the one called The Stig
And on his back there was a large sack
Stuffed full of swag he snatched at the track
His eyes were so bloodshot but he had to get through this
Truth is he’d been partying with Hamilton Lewis
His mouth was curled up like he wanted to scowel
I think he just wanted to throw in the towel
There was a stub of a stoagie he held in his mouth
Retrieved from Cuba on a trip to the south
He was a cool dude but seemed a bit wormy
Like someone who’d spent too much time around Bernie
He’d been working so hard and was Obviously tired
When Shaun exclaimed in a dream that “You’re fired.”
Santa, so tired, from taking such guff
Put boxes under the tree and stormed off in a huff
He spoke not a word but let out a great sigh
As if he’d heard it before from this particular guy
He left all our stuff but you can certainly bet
Santa quickly left the offices of OpenPaddock.net
He got in the sleigh and didn’t even scream
Cause he bribed ol Kimi with a bar of Dove Ice Cream
So I heard Santa say as he didn’t look back
“Merry Christmas to all; see you at the track!”

Hope everyone has a great holiday!

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